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Day whatever: the toddler was upset I wouldn't let him say hi to the tax guy on the phone.

Outside it might be total chaos, but in here I've planted some coconuts, broken a few axes and gotten myself into a glorious amount of debt.

Later, I'm going to play some Animal Crossing.

Imagine how many babies called Covid or Covy or Cove will be born in about nine months from now.

First day with everyone home. Last day with any sanity.

Taking the kid out of daycare after today and going into lockdown. Stay safe out there, Internet friends.

Confused by all the people self-isolating together at the gym on my street.

"Now's the *perfect* time to start all those projects," said the people without children.

Love to self-isolate with all the other people getting coffee.

The order to WFH just came in. I've never been happier!

What are some nice, uplifting sites to read instead of me constantly reloading the news?

Trying to keep a toddler’s room tidy is not unlike trying to stop the ocean from being wet.

I have been informed by the four year old that I’m no longer to “do jokes” without his explicit permission.

Achievement unlocked: interrupted two kangaroos having sex.

Listening to my wife explain deep fakes to the four year old. The future is weird.

I’m 42, and I’m finally learning to drive.

Taught my phone the word “amazeballs,” I can die happy now.

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waferbaby

We eat bandwidth for breakfast.