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Sitting with Sam as he has an allergy test, and the Dad next to us just realised his kid’s iPad is signed into an Amazon account with credit cards attached.

See man walk. See man trip. See man lose his glass cup. See cup shatter. See man land on broken glass. See bleeding man weighing up continuing on to coffee anyhow.

Sam, pretending to give me an X-ray: “There’s a colony of ants in you!”

Well, fuck.

Funny - Sam makes this *exact* same face when I tell him he's not ready to go hunting with a bow.

"I'm sitting on a hair metal goldmine!," and other things you hear at the local café.

Finished The Witcher 3, and apparently I got the "Bad Ending," so I'd like my 300,00 hours back please.

I can smell the road melting. I can feel my skin burning in the direct sunlight.

The neighbours across the way are growing corn.

My dog is sitting in the sun, and I question her sanity.

“Hey Daddy? Why would happen if you put yoghurt on a fire?”

Ah, we’ve reached *this* phase.

My bank *finally* allowed Apple Pay. How do you do, fellow kids?

I’ve taught my phone “shitlord.” I can retire now.

I just saw an Italian Greyhound puppy, and it looked like the cutest arrangement of sticks.

I saw someone actually using a payphone, which is the modern version of seeing a unicorn.

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We eat bandwidth for breakfast.